The Equivalent of Kissing

I'm watching a movie about two best friends that sleep with each other's wives. I keep swallowing the lump in my throat and trying to believe in love. It's an absolute unobtainable goal for all of us human beings that want to feel complete perfection and know the perfect touch, they want to see the most lovable human being or feel the peak of love and life. It's so obvious to me at this very moment that it is never going to happen. Whether I'm looking at a boyfriend of mine or snooping through their cell phone, cheating, taking care of someone else's boyfriend, whatever it may be I know it's all a bunch of shit. This movie is minutes from ending and they are all miserable. They have all fucked and touched and slept and ate and had children and undressed one another wives and they are fucking unhappy. Miserable and wanting to die. This will happen to us, too. All of us.