Que Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)

I am sitting at my processor, after freshly taking three Tylenol PM’s to kick myself into slumber mode, and I can’t seem to keep my mind in one place. I have been listening to Taking Back Sunday all night tonight, and man, I miss that old shit. I have recently grown tired of trying to keep my relationships, school work, and even my own bedroom in order. I guess I’m having end of the year apathy, yeah, that’s it.

Anyways, I went to bed early tonight for the first time in what seems like months and I got woken up by a phone call. Oh well. I’m utterly exhausted but I’m not even going to try to sleep.

Today I woke up only to go sit in the gym for three hours. I walked in and immediately saw Kailee’s wet, curly hair and smiled greatly. Shortly after Greg, Abby, and Lauren arrived. We sat and ate chips and Greg drank my pop because he’s permitted to do that, you know. It wasn’t quite as fun as the day prior to, but still fun-o-licious. I am glad I got to waste time with them. I miss people. I think next year is going to be filled with enjoyable stuff. I can’t wait honestly. I’m eager to be a Senior at the age of 15 and making my way to the top, surely. Prom is in one day and I just lost an entire night of sleep. Fuck. I have my dress, my shoes, my hair done and all I need now is my boy in his tux. Got that too. Check.

I’m not smoking weed anymore. But I’m getting smashed this weekend.

Everyone seems so nervous about prom, preparing and shit. I don't care, I just want to have fun. Lately I have had a lot, just been stressed as shit from people. Things are better with my parents and I smoked a cigarette with my Mom tonight. I felt so bad that it made her feel so much better. I hope things turn out OK, they will, or whatever. Sorry about the apathy lately. I'm listening to Iron & Wine and I realized tonight that I have lost both of my 'best friends' a few weeks ago. I saw one of them getting his ass beat today. I put the guy in a headlock. Fuck yeah, I do care about you Nicholas. I have your bloody watch. Ring me soon.

I'm going to listen to some more I&W and try to sleep. Okay? Okay.