Everybody look what's going down

Everything happens for so many unknown reasons and that's so cool to think of. I get very scared when I think of things that have happened in the past, I mean, anxious maybe? I'm unsure. I know, but I can't pinpoint what is wrong with me. I feel guilty. Just, guilty as all fuck. I feel guilty and like I should be apologizing and showing you I love you times a million. When I do I only screw up more, you know? It's a pointless subject to ponder because there is no right answer. Things just happen and we make up for them, accept them, get hung on them, whatever.

I sincerely regret the past two years I've allowed myself to be stuck/hung up on silly senseless things that I now find repulsing. I guess regret is harsh, maybe I just wish it would have happened differently. But I guess I wouldn't be where I am now then, right? It feels really good to be over it. Over it completely.

I guess part of my problems is that I don't feel obligated to do the 'logical' thing. Most things to me don't make sense or seem to have much reason behind them. I don't know. That's great to be able to say too! I dunno, I'm smiling right now and it feels great to be silly and naive and falling in love and wanting more and more each time I see him. It's just something that I have no reason not to feel right now and I want to hold onto it as long as I can. But when it's over, its over. If it doesn't end, that's rad. No expectations, you know.